One way to deliver excellence is to make the necessary adjustments to keep your game at a higher level. Anyone who has coached people to improve performance can tell you a simple fact. Oftentimes, you do not have to drastically change someone’s behavior or technique. It may require a minor modification or a slight adjustment.

When an athlete is in a slump or a sales person hits a low mark in closing sales, they may press harder with worse results. Remember a time when you had a string of performances that were below your expectations. You may have lost your confidence, became upset with yourself and may have worried about your job. During these moments you worked harder than you ever worked in your life. What was required to get you back on track was usually an adjustment in technique or routine.

Nolan Ryan, fast ball throwing pitcher for a number of professional baseball teams. For most of his career he could bring the heat. He would throw the baseball consistently in the high 90 miles per hour and has eclipsed 100 miles per hour. Later in his career he became known as a finesse pitcher, resorting to off speed pitches and ball placement. This enabled him to reinvent himself and extend his career.

NFL receivers lose a step as they age. Those with extended careers, concentrate more on conditioning, improving strategy and running better pass routes. They made adjustments which were a natural part of the growth process.

Basketball players are known as wily veterans, which is another way of saying they rely on experience and strategies to play the game. They had to modify their skills or add new skills to compensate for a reduction of others.

An athletes’ giftedness got them there, but making the necessary adjustments or modifications will keep them there. At a certain stage it is wise to supplement your main skill with alternative ones. Rather than wait until skills diminish to add-on new ones, it is prudent to continuously make adjustments to stay ahead of the competition.

Too many people wait until;

1. Things are not going as planned
2. The same amount of effort does not give you the same result

Things are not going as planned  

Job performance is critical to our success at work. If our results are off course, drifting in the wrong direction, or not traveling fast enough we are concerned. When we notice a difference between expectations and current performance, we know a change is needed. When the status quo is no longer working or has become lackluster, dull and boring, it calls for something different.  Our success is based on the predictability of our performance. Traditions and common practices are great when they are functional. When things are not going according to plan, we have to adjust the plan or our execution of the plan.

Same amount of effort, but different result  

The same level of education or ideas may no longer be successful. There is a discernible reduction in your ability to maintain the same level of output. We decided to neuter and declaw our cat years ago. Our feline was tearing up the furniture and getting into a fair number of fights with other cats in the neighborhood. One day Fluffy was out in the yard and was attacked by another cat. Fluffy gave him the equivalent of several rapid jabs, extending his paws to scratch his opponent. He hit him with his best shot and the other cat kept on coming. I could see the confused look of on his face. 

We are like my cat Fluffy. When we exert effort we expect a certain result. Experience taught him to expect a certain outcome. When he did not get it he made an adjustment and ran for his life.  

All of us, as we get older notice that we can’t so things the way we use to do them. We may not run as fast, jump as high or recuperate as quickly as we use to. This is a part of the maturation process in any field. As we mature in the game of life, business, sports, and relationships; we gain wisdom to modify our approach.  This will enable us to continue to perform at a high level. Past processes may become outdated or irrelevant. New principles, theories and practices supplant the traditions of yesterday. Newer marketing practices such as social media must be embraced quickly. Others in your field have branched off into new markets with a more diverse customer base. We acquire an arsenal of techniques to serve as ammunition for the challenges ahead.

Our vocabulary is filled with words concerning adjustments. These are small and major changes to get us in line or on-line or on board with the program. Something has to be tweaked, refined or has its’ course corrected.  

We must understand the life cycle or performance cycle of markets and individual people. We must change and make adjustments or needed based on the stimuli, stressors, and changes. We must anticipate and adjust. This refinement mindset will help us in the short and long terms.

1. What changes or adjustments do you need to make to prolong your effectiveness?
2. Who can you use   as a model?
3. Who will give you feedback?
4. Who will hold you accountable

This may require more than your performance evaluation process on the job. Discuss with your mentor or coach to get a jump on matters before the problems develop.

1. Ask someone to watch your performance focused on 1 or 2 areas only
2. Videotape yourself and review the footage alone or with a trusted advisor

Adjustments should be a mandatory aspect of our performance. We can reflect on memories of veterans who reinvented themselves and prolonged their careers by utilizing this concept. They continually added something to their arsenal and were able to change their thinking, mechanics and techniques. This increased the longevity of their livelihood. These adjustments were necessary for survival in a competitive atmosphere. The natural life cycle of your career will call for mandatory adjustments. This will keep you performing to meet the needs of an aggressive and demanding business environment.

Copyright © 2012 Orlando Ceaser

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

When people say Happy New Year, they are delivering a phrase that covers the entire 365 days and not just January 1^st or New Year’s Eve. Sometimes I feel it is more of a greeting than a wish, dream or a prayer. A way to accomplish this pleasant time frame usually is by stating and sticking to one or more New Year’s resolutions. I said stating and sticking to, not stating and breaking. The truth be told, resolutions are goals that should be made anytime you think you need them.

Resolutions are therefore, not bound to a certain time of year, nor should they be view with hopelessness. We know resolutions are like goals. They should be grounded in reality and have a starting point, such as the first of the year, the first of the week / month or the next day. Some have resolved that from this moment on they will never do dot, dot, dot, such and such or whatever.

I have elected to do a resolution state of mind approach this year. I plan to move to evolution in my resolutions. According to Merriam Webster’s Dictionary there are many definitions for resolution. Most of them are covered in a resolution state of mind. Here are a few of my personal favorites:

1. Determination
2. Clarity – the measure of sharpness of an image
3. Decision or declaration
4. Deal to end a conflict
5. Separation of a chemical compound or mixture into constituents
6. Formal expression of an opinion

If I roll all of these definitions into a mental framework, I arrive at the following way of thinking.  In 2012 and beyond, I am going to resolve to be;

• Clearer in my dealings with people so that they understand my messages and intentions
• Stand for my values and beliefs to minimize any disconnect between intent and actions
• Be the peacemaker in conflicts, by understanding people and myself on the way to better conclusions

Why limit it to 2012. For as long as I am alive I will think this way. I can apply this mindset daily to my actions. I can ask myself, am I moving the ball forward? What is the ball and where is it now and which direction is forward?  Is there evidence to include in my journal to support my follow through on these matters? Inherent in this comment is the need for a journal and some plan around using it.

I can eliminate my failure rate with resolutions by simply asking if I am improving and growing in the areas that mean the most to me. If I adopt a mindset of am I clear, firm in my positions and being a peace maker, I should successfully tackle any resolution in the end zone of life for a safety in my favor.

I am not speaking against formalized resolutions. But if you have a resolution mindset that has an evolutionary component set on growth, you will flow in the direction of your dreams. You will constantly calibrate and recalibrate to ensure you are on the right path and clearly in the center of your lane. You will not beat yourself up for failing to reach a goal that has not been first fully accepted in your mind. You will make process even if you digress from time to time. The objective is the same as running a marathon. When I trained for the two marathons I ran, I remember reading in Galloway’s books on running and the books by Jim Fixx. They basically said to keep moving. Whatever happens, keep moving. I know that if you are going to achieve momentum for your resolutions you have to keep moving. Movement is essential to momentum I use to tell my sales people.

So New Year’s resolutions are not events of the past, but a state of mind to help you deliver a better year than prior years, a level of performance that meets your expectations and give you the quality of life you so richly deserve.

Copyright @ 2012 Orlando Ceaser

Strategies

1. Do not take disagreement personally

We are not always right nor are we perfect. There is a streak of insecurity in each of us. When someone offers an alternative opinion, we view it as a lack of approval; an assault on our character or a betrayal of trust. The more secure we are in a relationship and in ourselves, the less we view this as a problem. Would we rather hear feedback or information about a shortcoming from someone who cares about us or someone else? Would we rather be aware of a situation or walk around blindsided like in the emperor’s new clothes while others laugh at us? Silently ask the questions, “Why are their words bothering me”? Is it my ego? Do I have a feedback allergy? Do I have a problem accepting criticism?

2. Grow in different and similar areas

Be distinctive and find common interests to accomplish mutual development. It is important to specialize where we can increase our knowledge and skills. Our mate can respect and encourage us and vice versa. But, it is also critical to engage in activities where we can share and enjoy companionship and compatibility in the same activities.

3. Choose a different messenger

Realize that in some matters we are not the right messenger. Sometimes our mate cannot hear our arguments or for some reason cannot listen to us. We may not have the sensitivity, qualifications or experience to address what they are feeling. There may be an invisible barrier on certain concepts and conversations. Additionally, sometimes words are more acceptable coming from another source.  We may joke about getting experts to quote us so our words would appear more acceptable. This stresses the fact that we are not the ones to proceed or lead on all issues.

4. Explore and discuss guidelines for conflict resolution

We can disagree without being disagreeable. We can debate without hate. We need to know the temperament and philosophies of engagement to see how each party handles conflict. How do we respond when things don’t go our way and disappointment sets in? Agree on rules of engagement with guidelines on what is and is not acceptable behavior.

5. Don’t elevate things that are not important

Don’t argue about things we don’t care about.  We might feel the need to voice an opinion on something that doesn’t matter to us. We get involved in ego driven debate to make a point. Don’t argue as if it is a sport with a winner and a loser.

6. Don’t get engaged in future focused situations

We have disputes over things that are scheduled for the future. This is a waste of time. Both parties may change our minds or the events may not happen. Be careful not to argue something that may or may not happen. Fight that battle when it gets here. Many problems are often based on a failure to communicate properly and how we treat each other in a relationship.

7. Beware of arguing someone’s point of view  

Don’t become the defender of someone’s opinion. Allow them to wage their own battle. We may find ourselves acting as if we are the proxy for a phantom person or an individual hardly worth sabotaging our relationship. We do not owe anything to the other person if we unwisely decide to support their opinion.

8. Schedule vacations and date nights

A mate may love night life and exotic locations. Vacations may invigorate them and allow other people to clean the rooms and prepare the meals. Make decisions around this information. Remember the important days and show spontaneous acts of kindness and affection. We may want to write this information in your computer, telephone or the other places we use to keep track of vital information.

9. Divide chores and involvement in children activities

Successful relationships are partnerships. Studies show that most successful marriages involve both partners playing a major role in all aspects of the home. However, some people would rather perform a certain activity on their own. This is perfectly fine, as long as the couple agree on the arrangement.

10. State your commitment

Saying phrases like “I want this to work.” Thinking defection is not an option and instituting rituals to show our sincerity are ways to state our commitment.  Our religious beliefs are another way to help us become stronger in our intent and demonstrating our allegiance to the covenant with our mate.  Additionally, in a management classic by Robert F. Mager, managers were trained to ask the performance oriented question “Can they do the job if their life depended on it?” We should modify the question to ask, “Is this relationship important enough to us that we would do it as if our life depended upon it.”

Copyright © 2011 Orlando Ceaser

Reflections

1. Good intentions

When we are in a relationship, it is desirable to understand each other. This may entail thinking about the motives of our partner, even during a heated discussion. We want to find out if they are speaking or acting in our best interests. She or he may means well. Years ago while reflecting on a recent discussion I said, “She means well.” A light bulb went off in my head and illuminated my feelings. Her intentions may have been lost in presentation, translation or my interpretation. This sentence had a transforming effect on the quality of your relationship. Tensions and discomfort were minimized. Once I emphasized the fact that she was on my side and looking out for me, it changed my disposition. This reflection may work for you as it worked for me.

Additionally, we may wish to stop using ineffective words such as “I am not the enemy: I am not out to get you: You should know me by now after all these years.” These words may not be necessary. They do not affirm our position in a positive manner, anyway. It is crucial to state our view in a more positive manner. “I am on your side.” “I am in this with you.” “I am for you.”

2. Imagine your partner is right

Listen to their ideas and remove our ego and the urge to compete and win. Remember there is more than one way to solve a problem. There is more than one right answer. Be objective and pull ourselves out of the picture. Could they actually be right on whatever issue being discussed? Could their idea be better than the one we suggested and more fitting to the situation? Ask if their suggestions would be a good idea if we thought of them? Suppose we woke up one morning with the same idea or suggestion, would we consider it a revelation?  If the objective is to use the best ideas out there, why not give them credit and embrace it? Thank them and praise them for their genius. They deserve to hear it from us.

3. Evaluate the message and not the messenger

Sometimes we are unwilling to give our mate credit for being right. The issue is not with the message, it is with the messenger. Would the suggestions be more acceptable if they came from someone else? We have to remove the messenger from the equation. We compete with the messenger and cannot evaluate the message on its own merit. All of us have people we consider to be experts or have credibility with us in a certain area. When they speak we immediately agree with their remarks. It may be easier to accept their point of view rather than once again agree that our mate is right. If they are accumulating a lot of points and a reputation for always being right it could be disconcerting, especially if we are keeping score. In reality, if we should accept their opinion and be thankful we have aligned ourselves with a very intelligent person.

4. Men and women think and act differently

Some differences in perspective are due to gender, culture and class. Remember women and men process things differently. If they have a different perspective it does not make them right or wrong. Place ourselves in the other person’s shoes. Why do they feel that way? What shaped their belief? There may be a clash in culture and characteristics. They may not say things the way we would have said it. They were created and conditioned differently and society has layered on a range of expectations that helps to explain much of the variance.  The books Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus by John Gray Ph.D. and You just don’t understand by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D. provides valuable insight into understanding the sexes.

5. The only person you can control

We can try as hard as we can to change someone’s mind, but the result may not reach our expectations. We may be frustrated, but bear in mind we can only affect the way we respond to the situation. The phrase from Quantum physics still applies, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Working on self is a project that has predictable results. Also realize we cannot meet all of our mates needs on our own. It takes a village filled with friends, elders and challenging experiences for everyone to reach fulfillment.

6. Remember the good times

Hopefully the pleasant moments outnumber the bad. The original attraction we had for each other was appealing enough to join together as a couple. Reflect on the times together and shared memories. Reflect on the times together and the shared memories. Is winning the argument worth sacrificing the value and the wonder of your relationship?

7. Think about the potential benefits

Treasures, good fortune and unimaginable positive experiences lie ahead. I recall the pleasantries and blessings my wife and I encountered on the other side of the storms. We encountered joy we would not have seen if we bailed at the first sign of turbulence. Many people abandon ship or bail out of the plane when it has enormous potential for a corrective passive to happiness. It will be a pleasure to share the wonder of the vistas and oasis discovered because you did not abandon ship when the storm clouds formed and the discomfort filled the air.

8. A companion’s need to feel special

Women like it when their men are involved in housework. When we leave it all on their shoulders they think it is beneath us, therefore it makes them feel small for doing the work. Our companion frequently let’s you know what they would like and the role they want us to play. This may include dividing up the chores and being more spontaneous to add variety to our routines.  

9. Everyone wants to be heard

Our confidante should be high on the list of individuals we listen to. Developing the fine art of listening shows the other person their opinions have value. Improving communication skills is one of the most cited areas in creating a stronger relationship. Consider how frustrated we become when no one pays attention to our ideas and contributions. The same is true with our partner. Conduct an inventory of your life and relationships. Who commands our time and attention?

10. People are happiest when following their dreams

It is crucial for us to follow our dreams and encourage the dreams in our companion. Fulfillment is a refreshing state of being when someone is working toward their purpose and making a difference. Knowing this to be true should motivate us to help others. When we are the only one pursuing a dream, our partner may not be content standing in the shadows cheering us on if their dreams are not being met. Be sensitive to their position.

Copyright © 2011 Orlando Ceaser

3 Tactics to Fight Leadership Indiscretions

Leaders are reasonably intelligent people; aware of the consequences of our actions.  They are trained on the difference between right and wrong and bombarded by examples of those who broke the law. Every day we see the faces of sobbing men and women, distraught after their indiscretions are made public. People let us down all the time. We let ourselves down. Leaders are human and may give in to the temptations that whisper to us in a powerful siren song of seduction. When they make egregious errors in judgment, people are disappointed and the effects can be catastrophic. How can leaders and the rest of us mere mortals avoid getting into these predicaments?

Business teaches us to be strategic thinkers. There is a format for planning the promotion of a product or service. A vision of the future leads people to embrace the possibilities of the successful achievement of a goal. The market is analyzed along with the competition and barriers to entry for each product. We are taught to assess our strengths, weaknesses, threats and opportunities.

We seldom critically analyze the forces that could personally derail our character and reputation. In business we know that we are only as strong as our weakest link. But everyone is only as strong as their weakest character trait. Perform a joint analysis as we unpack this topic. What are leadership and your weaknesses? Which values are easily prone to an indiscretion?

Control circumstances

We should conduct a self assessment of our morality. This will point to the thoughts we have that could, if acted upon, cause disgrace, disapproval and embarrassment. We could combat those thoughts by controlling the circumstances where this could become a reality.  I knew a person who said he was not the most moral thinking person in the world, but as long as he could control his environment, he would be alright.  He meant he would not put himself in a position to be tempted. He would not place himself with a woman who could lead to a compromise in his morality. He would not have to worry whether he was strong enough to resist if he never placed himself in a compromising position. I read where evangelist Billy Graham was adamant about never being in a room unless there were other people present. Dinners in a business setting with members of the opposite sex are seen as potential hazard unless they are out in the open, visible by other people.

Controlling circumstances also addressed the content of conversations. Leaders have made off color remarks and told jokes to someone whom they felt were like-minded. The other person even added to the jokes or told their own. However, when the person became a performance problem and disciplinary action was enforced they brought up the inappropriate jokes to lash back at their manager. Leaders could benefit from controlling the circumstances and the content of their conversations to resist indiscretions.

Predicting Headlines

Leaders can use their strategic insight to anticipate negative publicity. I find it helpful to imagine the headline that would be written around an alleged indiscretion. Whatever roles you occupy at work or in the community would be linked in the headlines. You should follow this with an interview of the people affected by the headline; the more vivid the imagery the better. Sense the pain and see the tears, as you think of those shamed by your actions. You can tally the economic consequences of your potential disclosure. Calculate the financial losses and divide them by the hours spent on your escapades to arrive at an hourly rate. These kinds of mind games can keep you in check if you are swayed by logic, but power can make you feel invincible.

If you examine headlines you will notice that a person is more newsworthy if they can be connected to something. A title at a company, an occupation or affiliation to an organization or association makes the headline more captivating. Early management training at Stuart Pharmaceutical covered the fact that we were representatives of the company 24 hours a day. If we performed an unlawful act the fact that we were employees of the company would end up in the headline and add spice to the story.

Leaders who visualize negative headlines may use this technique to keep themselves in check and on the right moral track. If not it should make them aware of the total impact and the magnitude and amount of collateral damage.

Apology letters in advance

Another deterrent to indiscretions would be writing an apology letter in advance.  “I apologize for my errors in judgment. I realize that I disgraced my office or family and take full responsibility for my actions. They did not deserve this violation of their trust. I hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me. I am deeply sorry.”

The translation of their contrition for most lay people is, “I realized the risk involved when I made the mistake. I was arrogant. I thought I could outsmart everyone. I did not think I would be discovered. And finally, I am sorry I got caught.”

What would happen if a leader mentally wrote an apology letter before they performed a bad deed? Suppose you consider your comments and the precise words you would use. Who would you apologize to and what would you say? When they cried or became angry, how would you address their emotional outbursts? What would be the consequences you would suffer and how do they compare to the emotions satisfied by the event?

If we as leaders would summon the symptoms of our disgrace, would this prevent us from acting foolishly? Realizing that we disappointed those who had faith in us or looked up to us, how would we react to their thoughts of betrayal?

Leaders are aware of the consequences of their actions. However, they may become immersed in arrogance that is fueled by a Houdini Effect. They feel they have an amazing ability to escape if cornered, therefore able to wiggle their way out of any negative situation. They may even go as far as to set up escape routes to evade discovery and cover their tracks if someone questions them. Their actions are premeditated and pernicious. I read an article recently that postulated that we have a difficult time imagining bad things happening to us. This may explain why reasonable people are not dissuaded by the consequences of their potential actions. We also may feel we are smarter than others and may never get caught. The contrite confessions aired in the media are from people who felt the same way. No one in their right minds would want to lose everything for a few moments of pleasure of any sorts. Yet ever minute someone gives in to temptation and an indiscretion is born.

Leaders receive religious training and family upbringing to form our moral foundation.  These values can be augmented by the strategic planning, mind games, mental scenarios that work in achieving our business objectives and reputation. Our dual track of discussing leaders and thinking about our personal positions should help us apply the three tactics. The corollary methods should also help us maintain a positive image and minimize the onset of indiscretions.

Copyright © 2011 Orlando Ceaser

In business the Hindre lurks in the hallways, meeting rooms and work stations. They are dormant until someone threatens the status quo with new ideas, especially if these new ideas come from the wrong people. The Hindre always looks for reasons why ideas will not work and how the ideas of others may work better. They allegedly have the interests of business at heart, when they shift focus and direct their critique to the flaws in your perspectives.

The work of the Hindre has cost companies and countries billions of dollars annually in lost engagement and productivity, revenue and innovation. New ideas are suppressed. People are not fulfilled. Opportunities are passed or missed as the company is deprived of the full richness of its talent pool. On a larger scale entire neighborhoods and countries are deprived of entrepreneurs, leaders and positive role models. The Hindre as the ultimate Devil’s Advocates are running unrestrained throughout our lives.

In meetings they shadow your comments. They come to life when their target begins to speak. When others speak they are relatively quiet, but when you talk, they are on the edge of their seats, ready to launch a counter offensive to pounce on your ideas. Many times they will submarine your ideas as irrelevant and inappropriate, only to repackage as their own at a later date.  Therefore, you should keep track of your ideas, so that when they resurface you can claim credit for them. 

When you are aware of the existence of the Hindre, they are very predictable. Your mindset will to prepare excessively to ensure that your comments are well thought out, yet open for constructive challenge. You can use the presence of the Hindre to make you stronger.

The Hindre is known for discrediting groups of people and diminishing their accomplishments by saying that they are in over their head, they only got here through a special program and alluding that they may not be qualified.

In Talent Management and succession planning meetings the Hindre is present. They shoot down candidates with little objective information, but with a plethora of subjective platitudes. They have done their homework and will twist the facts or limit the admission of positive information that could benefit talent to the organization. The Hindre want to restrict your movement and limit and deny access to people, assignments and information that will make you successful.

We must develop the vision to spot them in a crowd and to know that they exist even though we are not sure of their location. Being hidden may give them power if they can catch you by surprise. But don’t give them power over you. Who gave them the right to think they are the judge over your ability and ideas? Sometimes exposure and the knowledge that you know who they are can rob them of their strength. You can develop techniques to question their comments or answer them in a thoughtful intelligent manner. When you are really skilled you can cast doubt on their motives, which can be risky, without the audience support. If rendered ineffective, they may go away and try to discourage others or think of an alternative way to stunt your development.

What can you do?

You must build confidence and surround yourself with people who are supportive, mentors, coaches, true friends and trusted allies. If you do not place this fundamental fortress of protection in place, they will cause you to doubt yourself, especially if no one is comes to your assistance. You should also control the environment which means limit your exposure to the Hindre’s toxic elements. I am not saying that every critical person or critique is from a Hindre. You must subject the comments to a qualifying test. “If they are instructive and productive, I would accept them. If their comments mean well and will make me better, I will welcome them.” Try to determine the intent and motives of the person, the value and benefits of the comments and the potential consequences of action and inaction.

The Hindre may be powerful. We need to resist, but we may not be strong enough individually to withstand their fury. We need advocates and allies to jump to our defense. We need to cultivate teams of believers who will stand next to us when we are challenged inappropriately.

Some individuals who are not Hindres may ask questions in a Hindre-like manner. The first part of their statement may make sense, but the second half comes across as an attack. They may not have developed the eloquence of speech to clearly state their comments without appearing antagonistic.

In football, they assign a person to follow another player. For example, a linebacker would be told to shadow the quarterback or running back. Everywhere they go he is supposed to be there to stop their forward progress. The Hindre serves the purpose with you. Wherever you go, whenever you interact, they are there ready to respond.

In the movie 48 hours with Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte, Eddie is an ex-convict who is let out of jail for 48 hours to help a detective catch a dangerous criminal who killed police officers. Nick Nolte is abusive to Eddie throughout the entire movie. In one scene, in a moment of remorse he apologizes for his poor treatment and said he was just doing his job. He was just trying to keep him down.

The Hindre is sometimes motivated by biases and prejudices. They restrict access to neighborhoods for certain groups, membership to exclusive clubs for women, resources to complete a project or proposal.

If you want to soar, the Hindre are like sandbags in a hot air balloon. As long as they are in great supply and lying at your feet you will never get off the ground. The objective is to remove the Hindre from the balloon to enable you to gain the altitude you need. Some sand bags are lighter than others and all of them may not need to be removed at once. They may serve a purpose for you, but you are aware of their presence in case you need them.

It is one thing when professional Hindre try to discourage us, but another when amateurs without any credentials state their uninformed views and we listen to them. Why do we choose to listen or believe them? Is it concern for the relationship that elevates their position and gives them the clout of an expert?

Scary things do not exist only in the night. The Hindre is active twenty-four hours a day, damaging dreams, poisoning relationships, restricting productivity and stifling the growth of communities, countries and continents. The Hindre undermine the joy we could experience without the persistent nay saying, negative nemesis that seeks to deprive us of our greatness. We must be aware of their existence, their presence in our environment and their mission to undermine our effectiveness. We must develop tools to nullify their impact and allies to support us and fortify our positions. The ultimate coup would be to convert them into an ally.

Copyright © 2009 Orlando Ceaser

The Hindre has always been with us. Our memories may be filled with instances where we were the new kid on the block or we tried out for athletic or musical events and the Hindre was a barrier to us. You may recall the guidance counselor who directed you to an occupation that was significantly beneath your skill, talent level and potential.

I have been in classrooms where the Hindre were very active. I could see in the eyes of the some of the students, desperate pleas of “Please get me out of here.” The Hindre caused these students to not ask questions, to even misbehave in class, so that they are not seen as the smart ones. They knew that being labeled smart would open them to all manner of abuse and constant teasing by other students. In private conversations, they were extremely bright, but under achieving in order to blend in with their peers. Teachers are frustrated when they see talented students who will not fully express themselves. The Hindre has intimidated bright students to perform to a level much lower than their aptitude and desire.

The Hindre operates on different levels on all continents. A third grader in the United States stated her desire to be a singer when she grew up. Almost before she could finish a young man shouted, “You can’t sing.” Her shoulders sank and she lowered her eyes. The class looked to me for a response. I turned to the young man and asked, “Have you ever heard her sing?” He lowered his eyes and said no. I asked, “Why then, did you feel the need to tell her she couldn’t sing?” He had no response. I assumed he made the remark thinking others in the class would find it funny and laugh. But he did not receive positive feedback from his classmates. The spirit of the Hindre was alive and well in this classroom. The Hindre can be chased out of the room by a crowd of positive supporters.

During a question and answer session in Lusaka, Zambia, a young man painted a scenario describing his interaction with a Hindre. He wants to succeed and make something of himself, but he had a friend who told him he will never make it, to give up and stop wasting his time. He wanted to know what he should do. I asked how he felt about his friend’s comments. He said he wanted to succeed and make something of himself. We advised him to surround himself with people who thought as he did for strength and support. We recognized the difficult situation with his friend, but he may have to limit his time with the friend, and continue to ignore his remarks. We also assured him that when he became successful the friend would return and take some of the credit for his success. “I knew you could do it. I challenged you to make you stronger.” He will at some point ask him for a small loan and try to take advantage of his success.” The Hindre does not like to lose. They will try to maintain contact with you for additional opportunities to reach their goal.

There are Hindre with a malicious spirit to destroy the bright among us. These individuals did not succeed and want to stop others from reaching their dreams. They terrorize neighborhoods and hold entire communities hostage to their violent and vicious reign of horror. Our youth who want to succeed are at risk around the deadliest Hindre of all, someone who will kill them to stop their development. It is not unusual in large cities for headlines and the evening news to learn about promising young students who lost their lives to senseless violence. They were usually an innocent bystander in a drive by shooting or at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Relationships

The Hindre has been placed in and around relationships to stymie growth and long-term success. They may be the friend who always bring inaccurate news that your mate is not who you think they are. The Hindre constantly sow doubt and suspicion. They convince you to start arguments on meaningless matters, so that there is disharmony in your relationship. They may be secretly jealous of your relationship, but you are not aware of their thoughts.

Secondly, the mate in a relationship may not have confidence in their partner. They become upset when they want to increase their education and improve their economic status. There was a young man who told his fiancé before marriage that he wanted to continue his education. She agreed and immediately became pregnant and had several children over the next few years. When he again approached the idea of getting an education, she said she was nervous and felt he would use his degree to find another woman and leave her and their children.

Friendships are destroyed when the Hindre attempts to discourage a friend from pursuing their dreams. They become possessive and dominant about the time they spend together. “If you were a true friend you would hang with me and forget the foolishness about going away to school.” They use the examples of exceptions, those who played by the rules and did not make it. They disregard those who worked hard and sacrificed and became successful. These examples do not support their case. Additionally, they have negative names for them to prevent you from being one of the potentially fortunate ones. These conversations happen and friends with different interest drift apart.

Artistic people are very sensitive. Creativity is a fragile gift and requires the proper soil to nourish and nurture to maturity. An innovative genius can be seen as a threat to someone with no talent or little talent. These artists require love and trust and are prime targets for the Hindre. Instead of celebrating their gift, they steadily bombard them by comparing them to others who are more talented. They also like to quote statistics about the few that make it and the odds of failure.

The Hindre may be insecure, threatened, jealous, envious, biased, prejudiced or just mean-spirited. They will operate from any of these emotions to undermine your intentions of peers who want to rise above the norm.

Copyright © 2009 Orlando Ceaser

The Hindre is a person or spirit whose purpose is to keep you down, stunt your growth, hold you back, and prevent you from moving forward, realizing potential and living up to your expectations. They are positioned in households to thwart success, to discourage siblings and offspring and to disillusion those who have the ability and talent to achieve their dreams. They are in businesses and other organizations ready to sabotage those individuals who are viewed as a threat to insecure members of the group.

Many of us are familiar with the concept of sleeper cells as they relate to terrorism. These individuals become a part of the community and maintain a low profile. Their actions are not out of the ordinary. They do not bring attention to themselves. Secretly they are living undercover, part of a radical organization, waiting for the time to carry out their mission. They remain a part of the community until they receive instructions, maybe years later to perform a very bad act. Their neighbors are usually surprised when they are exposed. When interviewed, neighbors say things like, “They seemed like the nicest people, they didn’t bother anyone, we had no idea they could do such a thing.”

A first encounter with the Hindre is during your youth. They lashed out against you and hurt your feelings. Exposure is at school or in the home. The experience may have left you angry, embarrassed or ashamed. As you grow in age and maturity they show up in school, relationships, family, and activities and on the job. They are sometimes subtle or bold, undercover or out in the open, covert or overt in their actions.

The Hindre show up in the early stages of development when people and ideas are the weakest and most vulnerable. In school when you are forming your dreams and goals for the future, they bring their brand of sarcasm, laughter, ridicule and other tricks to shake your confidence, break your spirit and damage self-esteem.

At work they appear in many forms. They may seem harmless, objective and well-meaning. But they use their credibility to tear down your ideas and cast suspicion and doubt on your performance. If you are highly regarded, they may use language behind your back such as, “you would think with their education and experience they would know better or perform at a higher rate.” These secret attacks are persuasive and slowly reduce your standings in the eyes of peers and supervisors.

The Hindre’s objectives are very clear. They are to:

• Put you in your place so that you don’t favorably distinguish yourself (they have determined where your place should be)
• Activate the seeds of doubt in your mind and the minds of others regarding your input
• Bring you down so that you are no longer flying high toward success
• Go on record as being the first to launch negative comments and challenges about your contributions (if successful they will take credit for unmasking your weakness)
• Discredit your input and cause you to surrender your dreams, goals, objectives and perspectives
• Harm your performance, even if it hurts the organization or the team

Hindre are everywhere and there seems to be a Hindre for everyone. Friends may become Hindre when they feel selfish and threatened. Depending on your threat level there may be many assigned to you. These friends may want you to stay, for their self interests, try to discourage you and keep you in your place. They are afraid you may become too big for your pants, so they want to bring you down to earth and stop your head from swelling with pride. They are the competitor in class or at work who want to slow down your growth in favor of their career. Your success may be interpreted by the Hindre as their personal failure.

Talent will bring the Hindre to the surface. Talent activates their discouragement mechanism to hinder high performance. As long as you are silent and underperforming they are dormant and content. But when you flex your creative muscles and express your God-given talent, they are pressed into action.

Copyright © 2009 Orlando Ceaser

Thirdly, the manager created a culture which did not seem inclusive to all members of the group. They allowed the proliferation of micro-inequities within their organization. Micro-inequities are small slights often subconscious with over time cause people to feel devalued, unimportant and invisible. They are verbal and no-verbal cues which cause a person to feel excluded. The word was coined by Mary Rowe, an ombudsman from MIT who noticed that women and minorities felt they were experiencing subtle forms of discrimination that made them feel walled out and not included in their classes.

A manager practicing micro-inequities may exhibit some of the following:

• Not acknowledging contributions or ideas of some of his team members
• Routinely sends out memos without copying them
• Conducts a meeting before the meeting where some are not invited
• Poor eye contact and poor listening skills
• Speaking in a condescending tone
• Introduce some people with more detail then when they introduce others

People who feel invisible or taken for granted may fail to contribute their best and this has may reduce their level of engagement. The company suffers when they retreat and even more when they quit. The manager is sometimes the prime offender and the most surprised when people have complaints, especially those strong enough to leave the organization.

The Administrative Assistants at a large chemical company were in an uproar. Their company was generous in reimbursing them for college tuition costs. Many of them received their undergraduate and advanced degrees; however they could not be promoted. When they raised their hands ion meetings they were discounted and their ideas were not taken seriously unless they were presented by someone else. One individual was told she would never be taken seriously unless she left the organization and worked two years in another company in a non secretarial role.

Women and minorities are a group rich with many examples of being overlooked when trying to interact or fit in within their company. Nancy posted for numerous assignments but rarely was given an interview. She told stories of being under-utilized and passed over for assignments. She allegedly asked for feedback, but never received any. These micro-inequities had her on the verge of termination. She spoke with other individuals applying for the same jobs and they received feedback on how to prepare for the next interview and areas where they needed to improve. She considered resigning, but the job market was tight in her city. 

Use of favoritism and fast tracking

The fourth area of favoritism or preferential treatment can be a pariah to a team. When team members feel they cannot compete due to factors beyond their control, they may not give their maximum output. When special people are on a fast track, receiving the choice assignments and excessive recognition, it can undermine team spirit and morale. Additionally, you may create a sense of entitlement in the person which may cause difficulties with retaining them when the ego can no longer be fed.

One HR manager told me about an individual who was in HR every 6 months inquiring about a promotion and available open or soon to be open positions. Every nine months like clockwork she was promoted. She was an extremely talented person, but she needed to stay in some of the roles longer to get a greater appreciation for the nuances of the jobs. She was on the fast track and impatient. She read her own press and believed her own clippings. The string of promotions was consistent. Her management constantly looked for promotions rather than challenging assignments or lateral moves. After a brief stint of multiple promotions she hit a promotional barrier. She was livid. She had been conditioned to expect rapid upward mobility. When her career stalled, she quit. They played a part in creating this talented person, who had not stayed long enough in any role to develop the credibility, content, depth and perspective necessary to be of maximum value to the company.

I have not mentioned the collateral damage caused by favoritism without merit as it relates to diminished input, reduced morale, lower productivity and resignations. Those who are not viewed in the inner circle, but are loyal contributors will tire of promotional opportunities going to the latest ingénue or Young Turk. The current economic climate has prevented some people from resigning, but when the economy improves they may exercise their right to find employment in another corporation.

Organizations should be mindful of the ways that managers may inadvertently cause unwanted turnover. Leadership training, coaching, mentoring and supervision can ensure that they retain the best employees and not create a climate for reduced productivity and lower engagement.

Copyright © 2009 Orlando Ceaser